We’re grown and sexy here. But my tips for the bedroom also extend into the bathroom. Because sex and relationships doesn’t stop when you have to poop. If you are a woman (or guy…I try to be gender neutral here) and bashful about pooping for the first time at your new boo-thangs place, listen up.
5 tips for pooping at a guys house.
1. Prepare—-Don’t be unprepared like this girl. Know where the freshener is, or in fact, bring your own perfume. The key is to spray before and after. Matches work, but also signal to everyone that you just blew the place up.
2. Trick him—-If you are totally trying to keep the myth up that girls don’t poop, then cut on the shower during the call of duty. Cold water not hot. After you are done, take a quick shower in hot water and return to him as if you just wanted to freshen up. Men don’t tend to catch on that “freshen up” is code word for fart and poop.
3. Mask sound—-To mask the unmistakable sound of poop falling into water, place a tad bit of toilet paper in the toilet before you start. “Tad bit” being the key word. You don’t wanna use too much toilet tissue and end up clogging the toilet. No tips to save you from there.
4. Turn on music—-Toilet paper can mask the sound of bombs, but not farts. One way to avoid that is by turning on the radio or itunes. If you’re spending the night, let it play while you sleep so it isn’t obvious that it’s only on when you go to the bathroom.
5. Get over yourself—-Eventually, tips become stupid and useless. He’s your boo. You’re human. And you’re sexy. Might be even sexier when you return to the bedroom to cuddle. But if you let him eat your butt, please go ahead and shower first.